1. Either you think you are undeserving of it; or
2. You somehow picked up the idea that money is "bad".
No matter which argument, doubt or excuse you can come up with, they will always lead back to one of those two core "mis"-beliefs.
So what do you do? How do you go about changing these mind sets?
Simple. You will need to address them at two different levels; consciously and sub-consciously.
Now believe it or not, this is not nearly as difficult as it might sound. All it takes is a little of your time.
The first thing we need to do is deal with your conscious thoughts around money, so let's start there.
Get out your trusty pen, pencil or word processing page and write down this sentence:
Why I don't think I deserve to have a lot of money.
Now your original reaction to this question might be - but I do think I deserve to have money - that's why I am so frustrated! If that was your answer then you are not going deep enough.
If you do not have a lot of money right now chances are there is a part of you that thinks you are undeserving. So let's see if we can uncover what it is.
Read the following examples and see if any of these strike a cord in you.
I have never been really successful at anything
I have failed at everything I have ever tried
I am a failure
I never stick with anything long enough to succeed
I constantly change my mind
I have no special talents
I've gotten fired in the past because I am not good enough
Everyone always told me I would never amount to anything.
My family never had money, what makes me think I'm special?
Other people don't have a lot of money, why should I?
People like "me" don't have money
I couldn't still be spiritual if I had money
I couldn't still be a good person if I had money
I wouldn't know how to handle a lot of money
I would just spend it stupidly like I have in the past
I was never very smart
I never finished high school
I never went to college
I never finished at the top of my class
I never got good grades
I don't work smart enough
I don't work hard enough or long enough
I am lazy
Idon't have any original ideas
I am not spiritual enough
I don't sacrifice enough
I don't take care of my health properly
I am a bad parent
I am a bad child
I am a bad spouse
I am a bad friend
I am a bad person
I don't think about others often enough
Now write down whichever ones you feel are even slightly true, plus any others you may come up with on your own. Make sure you leave at least 2 free spaces in between whichever item you write down because you are going to write underneath it in a few moments.
Part II
No write this down on the top of another piece of paper:
The reasons I think money is bad.
This is where you are going to delve into your past and pull out every negative cliché you have heard about money from your parents, your church, your neighbors, your teachers, television, etc.
Money doesn't grow on trees
Money is scarce - there's not enough to go around
Making money is hard
You can't create money out of thin air
Only "special" people have money
You need to have money to make money
Money goes to Money
No one said life was fair
No one said life was supposed to be easy
People like me don't get lucky
People like me don't have a lot of money
I should just be grateful for what I have and not be greedy
The only way to have a lot of money is to work hard at the expense of your loved ones
People who only focus on money don't have lives
Money is the root of all evil
People who have a lot of money are selfish
People who have a lot of money are spoiled
People who have a lot of money are superficial
People who have a lot of money don't have real friends
Don't take chances with money
If you have a lot of money you can't be spiritual
Only poor people can be spiritual through their "sacrifice"
If you have more than enough, then you are simply being greedy...., etc.
Again you get the point. I'm sure your family and friends had their own little pearls of wisdom. Think back to the ones that you have heard in the past. Again write down all the ones that apply to you or hit a particular cord when you read it. Be sure to leave spaces in between.
O.K. Now you are dealing with your feelings consciously. Even if you haven't really thought this deeply about it before - your lists now stand in front of you.
Part III
Now go back to your first list and in the blank line you left beneath it write down at least ONE reason why you know the negative statement is not true.
For instance in the Why I don't deserve to have money list. Say some of your reasons was lack of schooling or opportunities. Write down that tons of people became millionaires who didn't finish school or were brought up in poverty. Or how about "I never stick with anything long enough to succeed" write down that you just haven't found your passion or purpose yet and that once you do you will go after it with all your heart. If it has to do with not being a good enough person, parent, etc, write down all the things that you do do that negates that sentence. How you cook for your family, or call once a week, etc.
Then do the same for the Why Money Is Bad Category. Write down at least one thing (or as many as you like, the more the better) about why those sentences aren't true. For instance "People like me don't have a lot of money" Really? Well who then? "Normal" people hit the lottery all the time, win scratch offs, come up with multi-million dollar ideas. How about "All people with a lot of money are selfish, or self-centered" Really? How about Bill Gates and Warren Buffet? They are two of the richest men in the world and have given millions, if not billions of dollars to charities.
The point of this exercise is to give yourself reasons why what you learned in the past is false.
It is almost impossible to consciously change a negative thought if your brain isn't given a logical reason behind the change.
Part IV
Dealing with your "subconscious" mind regarding money limitations.
Now there are a few different ways you can do this.
EFT
Personally this first option is my favorite and I think the quickest and most effective. It is called EFT or The Emotional Freedom Technique. It is a form of acupressure but it consists of tapping on certain meridian points of your body. For more detailed information and videos on how to use this process visit here.
So how would you use EFT around this subject in particular? This is where both of the lists you wrote will come back into play. Go back up to your first list and tap in every one of those sentences with your EFT saying. Such as "Even though I feel I have never been really successful at anything I love and accept myself completely." And do one full tapping session around that. Next "Even though I don't think I deserve money because I never finished high school, I love and accept myself completely"
Do this for every item on your list and then even do it for the some of the reasons I've listed above that you might not think apply to you. Sometimes we don't know what exactly is holding us back and we will happily stumble on it by accident.
Subliminal Tapes
Using subliminal tapes, especially before bedtime can also be effective. It would be perfect if you have the ability to record your own voice saying I AM deserving to have all the money I desire, I AM a good person, I AM Smart Enough To Succeed At whatever I choose, etc. Download it onto an IPOD and listen as you fall asleep or simply play a tape cassette if it won't disturb another person in the room.
During Meditation
Another good time when your subconscious mind will be more open and receptive is at the end of a meditation session. After you have silenced your mind for 15 or 20 minutes take a couple of minutes at the very end to say some of those same positive sentences to yourself.
Mind Movies
You may have already heard of Mind Movies. They have just released their newest version which gives you the option of putting subliminal messages on your computer that work in the background while you continue doing your every day work in the foreground of your computer.
Type in the inspiring and deserving messages so they play in the background all day slowly being absorbed by your unconscious self.
If you would like to know more about Mind Movies, visit here.
Just playing with any these ideas for a few days can change your money mind-set drastically.
So get busy creating money in the only place it counts - your mind, and watch how quickly your outside circumstances will change.
1 comments:
I wanted to thank you for the great exercise for people to use to identify their thoughts about money and their "deservedness".
In our fast paced world, it's a rare soul who takes a few moments each day to reflect; to really examine what is going on in her mind and how those thoughts are affecting her outside world. We wrote something similar in our blog back in June (http://destinydesignersblog.com/2008/06/you-are-the-sourceyou-are-the-source/) where we detailed an exercise for a way to determine what a person wants in his/her life. And, most of all it comes down to our thoughts and beliefs. Looking forward to other posts and it's great to meet another soul on the same path!
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