August 4, 2008

Why It Is Not Selfish To Sever An Unhealthy Relationship

Did you ever have those times when you feel like you are just dealing with one "idiot" after another? First one person sets you off, then another and another and you feel like screaming "How can I possibly have so many nasty people in my life?"

Well I can give you the answer right now. It is all your fault.

Now, I realize that sounds harsh at first, but believe it or not…that really is a good thing.

Because it means you have absolute control over the people who participate in your life.

Just as you have drawn negative people to you in the past, you also have the ability to draw positive people in as well.

It is all a matter of what you are vibrating.

One of the most important philosophies in the Law of Attraction and/or Spiritual Development is the idea that the only person you should be concerned about is yourself. It is not your job to worry or attempt to change others.

Now at first this might seem like a very selfish notion, but let me explain why it really is in your best interest all the way around.

First of all, you cannot change who or what other people are, no matter how much you might want to.

You have to realize that what usually determines a person's behavior today are the tons of things they have experienced in the past…long before you were ever even in it.

If a person has had past experiences with others who have lied to them, cheated them or mistreated them, there is a very good chance that they are going to be mistrustful of people today.

So you may do something in complete innocence but due to their past experiences they will see it as a deliberate attack you have made on them.

Now, you know the truth. And you may even do your best to try and convince them otherwise. But if their mistrust runs that deep, nothing you say or do is going to change the way they feel.

So what can you do? Does it make sense for you to spend your time being miserable over it? Does it make sense for you to walk around angry at the unfairness of it all? Is it worth even one precious moment of your life suffering over something you can do nothing about?

Here is an example. One of my girlfriends was dating this guy that was really great. He was extremely nice, thoughtful, generous and caring. The only problem was, he was also extremely jealous. It seems that he had been cheated on in the past not just by one, but quite a few ex-girlfriends. Therefore in order to protect himself he was constantly suspicious of everything my girlfriend did. He called her ten times a day, wanted her to check in wherever she went, would show up unexpectedly at places she said she would be just to make sure she wasn't lying (though he did it under the guise of "missing her" or saying it was a "coincidence").

And I have to give my girlfriend credit. She put up with this behavior for quite a long time. She really liked this guy and she understood he had been hurt in the past. She figured that if she proved to him that she really was trustworthy, he would lighten up after awhile.

Unfortunately however, it seems his hurt ran far deeper then she realized,. Instead of getting better, he progressively got worse. He seemed to be convinced that the longer she was with him the more antsy she was going to get to want to be with someone else. It got to the point where she felt like she was in a prison and she finally had to break up with him. It's a shame too, because he really was a nice guy.

You see 99% of the time the way people feel has nothing to do with you. It has to do with past experiences they have had and the way they mentally and emotionally cataloged them.

But what you need to understand is that the Law of Attraction works like a chain reaction. By you "hanging in there" with the negative people in your life and putting up with all their "crap" you are also lowering your own vibration, thereby leaving yourself to attract…you guessed it…even more negative people.

Hence the reason you might feel as if you are completely bombarded with one "idiot" after another.

So while is might seem selfish at first, you must realize that your staying in any kind of painful relationship, be it with a spouse, someone you're dating, friend, co-worker or even family member, you are not doing either one of you any good.

You are not going to be able to change their vibration (only they can do that) and you are only lowering yours.

So the only thing you can do is start drawing your negative attention away from the person causing it and start focusing on the people who make you feel good.

Start making yourself feel better. Do things that make you happy. If this negative person normally calls you a couple of times a day to complain or nag or whatever, stop taking the calls. Or flat out be honest with them and tell them that you don't want to be negative anymore, and that unless they have something positive to say, you don't want to hear about it.

When you start focusing on the positive more often, some amazing things will begin to happen.

You will start to see the negative people in your life start to change or you will see them painlessly drift from your life.

Remember negative attracts negative. If you are not operating negatively, they are either going to have to change their vibration to meet yours, or they will naturally vibrate towards someone else negative who gives them what they are "looking for".

Either way it leaves the road clear for you to be happy. Which is really what it is all about.

So go be happy and attract the positive. The Law of Attraction will take care of the rest.

Happy Creating!