Too often we focus on the negatives about ourselves. Too often that little voice inside our heads takes over and tells us about all the things we are doing wrong - all the things we could be doing better.
But where is the voice telling us about the good stuff we do as well? Where are the compliments? The pats on the back?
If we make the mistake of not letting that voice come through then we usually also make the mistake of waiting for those compliments to come from outside sources. In other words, the other people in our life.
We wait around for our bosses to tell us we are doing a good job or to be recognized for the promotion or bonus that we are wanting. We wait for our spouses or children to appreciate all that we do for them. We keep waiting for our parents to say just once that they are proud of us.
And when those compliments do not come through we usually experience one of two things. Anger at them or self loathing of ourselves that we must be doing "it" wrong.
Well guess what? You are not doing it wrong! You are doing it perfectly! The only thing you are doing wrong is focusing your attention on the wrong things. And luckily you do have complete control over that.
Instead of being frustrated over others not recognizing all of the wonderful things that your do, ask yourself this question When was the last time I have truly appreciated all that I do?
Well…today is that day. Grab a piece of paper or a word processor page and start writing down all the things that you accomplish during the day.
Note: This list is not to be used as a weapon.
Don't write this list in anger or in the hopes of shoving it under so and so's face to show them all that you do for them that they do not appreciate. We are not concerned about what others think about us anymore (because chances are they are wrong about us anyway.)
We are working on making ourselves feel better. We are giving ourselves the pat on the back that we so hugely deserve.
This is simply a battle against our own egos - a way to say "Yeah… O.K… maybe I didn't start that diet yet, but I did feed the neighbor's cat while they were away and I deserve credit for that."
So let’s get started:
Imagine that this is a to-do list but only backwards. Don't write what you have to do - but write down what you have just accomplished.
- I stayed late to finish that project at work and got it completed.
- I made the family dinner last night or I bought the family dinner last night
- I agreed to change shifts as a favor to a co-worker.
- I went to a party that I really didn't want to go to just to make another person feel good.
- I took the kids to the dentist
- I didn't buy that item I wanted so I could save money
- I made that tough phone call to solve a problem with that bill
- I took an hour out of my day to help the kids with their homework
- I raked the leaves
- I drove someone somewhere
- I helped someone move
- I took in the mail or watered the grass for a neighbor who was away
- I took in so and so's garbage cans for them
- I had company to my house and entertained them
- I picked up my spouses' or my dry cleaning
- I found a way to pay that bill
- I went on an interview for that job
- I made sure everything was in place for that meeting
- I ate healthy today
- I exercised today
- I meditated today
- I took my parent to the doctors
- I made my child feel better when their feelings got hurt
- I made that phone call to that friend I had been putting off
Here's the deal. Every day we do stuff…all day long. Things that we don't HAVE to do. But we do it. Sometimes we don't like it - but yet we still do it. Be it something for ourselves or for others.
Now it is time to give yourself the credit for that "stuff" you do.
Everyday start a new page with the words: "I am proud of myself for doing…."
And then start your list.
It is an awesome way to start or end your day. Trust me after you have pages and pages of all the things you DO accomplish in your life it will be harder and harder for you to take that nagging little ego voice seriously when it tries to make you feel bad.